Confession #1: I am not ready for summer to end.
Confession #2: I am tired.
It’s Monday, I know we are all tired, but lately I have been feeling mentally, physically, and everything drained. Between my kiddo being in full toddler mode, the work load piling on, and keeping up with managing and running a household with my better half working 12 hour days almost 7 days a week, my battery is running pretty low these days. I am not sure why some weeks or months feel more draining than others. Some days I wake up and can tackle Mount Everest, other days I wake up and the thought of putting on day clothes makes me tired. I have been trying to get to the source of this mental exhaustion, especially since I am not typically one to complain about my ‘problems’ because I would always rather find a solution, but I am sharing only because I can guarantee I am not alone in feeling this way.
My husband always reminds me when I get mad at myself for constantly worrying that everyone’s problems are relative. I feel so guilty complaining about how tired my toddler makes me when I myself was raised by a single mother who took care of 3 kids alone, and I know there are plenty of other moms doing the same. I feel guilty complaining about what is not working properly in my house, complaining about how much I hate my kitchen cabinets, when I am blessed to live in a beautiful community that we worked so hard to move to. I feel even more terrible complaining about how much my husband works and how behind on work I am when I feel blessed that we HAVE work to complain about, the unemployment line is long and we are both own self-run businesses, the load of work means our businesses are functioning and that is a blessing.
The Guilt. More than anything, it is constant guilt. I am not fast enough at working, I am not providing enough entertainment as a mom, my kid is misbehaving so what have I done wrong as a parent? As ‘petty’ as my problems may be to someone in a different circumstance, they are relative to my life so I shouldn’t feel guilt when I do have a hard day because that often can be just as consuming, but I still do. I feel stressed about something then remember that there are people in worse situations and I beat myself up about feeling bad in the first place, which only makes me feel even more guilty. In order to fix a problem, you have to acknowledge the effects they have in your life and the difficulties they possess, only then can you come up with a solution to overpower that. So keep in mind – relativity.
Some days I get so wrapped up in my thoughts that they drown out any of the great things that are occurring right in front of me. It is so easy to think of all the negative that occurs that we so often don’t even pay attention to the good stuff. The most difficult part in life is training your brain to look at the good. That has become my goal since becoming a mom. Always see the good.
My toddler throws tantrums, great that means he is not afraid to show emotion and knows what he wants. Does it mean he gets it? No. But hey at least he isn’t a robot without his own opinions and feelings about situations. I have a ton of work to do? Great, now how can I find a new method to tackle it so it doesn’t weigh me down?
For every problem, no matter how difficult or impossible it may seem – there is a solution. It doesn’t always come right away, but the key is to write down the goal and take the necessary steps to get there. I want something fixed in my house? Ok, how many campaigns do I need to work until I can pay for it? How many emails can I send to find work, and how many Starbucks visits can I eliminate to save even a couple bucks here and there? Solutions.
For every problem, there is a solution. If you can not find the solution on your own, ask for help (I knowwwww this is hard). Search google for forums, find a book to read on the topic, talk to people in your community, talk to your parent, spouse, neighbor, child’s teacher, or even reach out to someone who specializes in the area you are struggling in. Is it with your kiddo? Reach out to another mom or your child’s teacher. Is it marital? Pick up a relationship book. Is it with something in your community? Look up a community Facebook group. One thing I have learned is that when someone overcomes a struggle, they LOVE sharing that with others and love giving advise on how they overcame their problem. I sure do, and I myself am always happy to share tips. ASK for help. There is nothing shameful in that.
Always remember – problems are relative, solutions are universal… you’ve got this!
Sundays are family days in our house. I have shared that here before, I LIVE for days when D is home and we can finally have a day home together or get out and enjoy our day as a family of 3. Our fav Sunday treat: In N Out. I can not even tell you how much Raj looks forward to a dinner date night at In N Out, it is actually pretty hilarious. These pics were snapped by my hubs two weeks ago and I love going back and looking at our Sunday excursions together (esp on those hard days when Raj and I see so little of D)… so here you go, my light at the end of every week and my #1 de-stressor: Sunday Family Day.
Fun side note about these photos: Raj was actually in the middle of a sulk-fest when D started snapping away. We are currently really trying to focus on him realizing he does NOT need to be carried by mom at all times, sometimes it has to be ok for him to walk while holding our hands and not needing to be carried. He went into full three-nager mode (he is almost 3) and completely got all emo on me. Instead of deleting these photos, I love holding on to them because 1. they make me laugh, and 2. one day when he doesn’t even want to walk near me I will look back and remember how much we encouraged him to be independent and brave. I am also sure I will long for the days when he begged me to carry him everywhere. Parenting, eh?
(shirt print sold out, similar style linked)
(his denim cut-offs are his last season’s too-short jeans that I save and cut myself)